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"These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own." G.K.Chesterton

"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion." G.K.Chesterton

"As you perhaps know, I haven't always been a Christian. I didn't go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that."C. S. Lewis

"I blog, therefore I am." Anon

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Movie Cliches 101

Movies have always dealt in cliches. Are the current ones any less demeaning and censorial than those of the past?

The head of detectives, chief of police or head of the CIA is always black.

The villains are always neo-Nazis, white supremicists, right-wing kooks or South Africans.

Behind every evil there is a conspiracy of white male Republicans or fascists.
[see above]

History is a neverending story of oppression, repression, suppression, destruction
and violence by evil white men.
[see above]

The hero is always a liberal.

The hero is also always the handsomest man in the movie.
[see above]

"Butt shots" are now compulsory for the leading man.
[see above]

As are shots involving a urinal.

The hero never suffers from STDs no matter how many people he has sex with, unless he is a victimised and sensitive gay guy suffering from AIDS in a deep and meaningful message picture.

The conservative priest is really a pedophile.

Native "spiritualities" are always profoundly deep and meaningful.

Orthodox Christians are always hypocrites.

Mid-westerners are boring conformists.

Southerners are racists, inbred hicks and rubes.

Minorities are always victims, even when they are forced into the role of perpetrators through the oppression of evil white men.

The black man is always wrongfully accused.

The liberal white lawyer (or Denzel Washington) will save him.

The liberal hero is the defender of all the world's oppressed minorities and underdogs.
[see above]

The kids know best.

The girl's best friend is a sensitive and witty gay guy.

The guy's best friend is a sexist slob - or black.

Capital punishment is always wrong - unless the punishee is a Nazi.

The line "You look like shit" will appear at least once.

Sean Connery always has amazing hairpieces.

The compulsory "making of the movie" documentary on the DVD will have cast and crew fawning all over each other's "artistic contribution", dedication and "commitment to the project".

If the hero is a "mature" man, his leading lady will be young enough to be his daughter.

12:31:00 am